A New Concept for a Dream

Archive for September, 2012

Autumn – Forever Young

Recently, we unexpectedly found ourselves saying goodbye to one of the little animal members of our family, Autumn. Below is a short video photo journal that opens just a tiny window into the life and legend of this  special feline who sipped water from her paws, spoke to us, played fetch like a canine and so much more. 

Autumn – Forever Young Video

We miss our little buddy. Thank you for the treasury of memories you gave us and your unconditional love that lives on forever in our hearts.

I am deeply grateful to have experienced Autumn’s Eros touch  first hand …  thank you girl.

Miss you Autumn

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Ladyheart – The Backstory (Part 2)

For those new to me and my wacky journey, I’ll turn back the clock a moment to share some of my personal backstory. My dad gave me a toy piano when I was about five. I took an immediate interest in it. I was grateful for the opportunity to create something that sounded pleasant. My dad, watched my interest grow and followed up with a bigger toy piano a year later, and within a few years, I graduated to a full upright piano with private lessons weekly, to continue developing my musical training.

I continued the lessons for few years, as long as my parents could afford it, but grew tired of playing just the classics like Beethoven’s Fur Elise (my dad’s personal favorite) and Moonlight Sonata (mine). So by the time I was in high school, the piano lessons stopped. Instead, I got interested and purchased song books from pop star pianists Billy Joel and Elton John. Piano was fun again and even cool! We still had the upright, so now I was inspired to continue playing for fun, especially when friends gathered. We’d converge around the piano singing these new tunes I learned that were popular with my pals. This was so much more fun than the nerve wrecking recitals I gave when I was taking lessons to show off my hard work and skills as a young pianist. Singing pop tunes like “Your Song” around the piano with friends was so much more rewarding.

By the time I was in middle school, I was encouraged to take up another instrument and made a musical friendship with the clarinet. I practiced every night and eventually was honored with joining our middle school’s marching band as a clarinetist, making my way to the top … the coveted first place, first chair position (a huge accomplishment and a big honor for this middle school kid).

What a blast it was performing with the band at all the football games, participating in the half time shows, marching in local parades for various holidays, teaming with the jazz band and orchestra for the school’s holiday shows. I cherish those years I was in the marching band and all the wonderful experiences that went with it.

My mother and sister were the pro singers in our family. They had voices like angels. I liked to sing, but was no where near the level of my mom and sister. I was just happy to sing in choirs for school and at our church. I found a safe place singing harmonies and blending in rather than as a stand out soloist. Once a teacher, or choir director learned of my piano playing skills, I got recruited as an accompanist for various occasions.

Choir and the marching band taught me so much. I learned how to be a team player, the importance of practice and the discipline of performing together as a unit, with the occasional spot as a soloist, who didn’t have to carry the entire show. I am so grateful for those experiences. By my junior year in high school, I discovered and focused on my true passion … the art of “acting” where I worked hard to prove myself and was rewarded with many opportunities to shine.

Romeo and Juliet at the University of AZ Main stage Theater

I am so blessed to have had parents that supported and helped me nurture my artistic side. They must have seen the performance “ham” in me. I was enrolled in gymnastics, ballet (performing in local ballets) tap dancing (performed in local shows), piano lessons and even signed up at the YMCA to further my gymnast skills – floor exercise, balance beam, uneven bars. Within a few months I was performing aerial cartwheels, handsprings, backflips. I was a rubber band! I didn’t know I had it in me! I was shocked the first time I performed a no handed cartwheel! You never know what you can do until you try! I realized performing came naturally to me, and the stage has always been my first home. The more skills, the merrier!

At this time in my life, with all this artistic experience, I’m at a place now, that when I’m wigged out, I can take those intense emotions and choose to work them out through the music of my beautiful keyboard, a Korg Triton Music Workstation. This keyboard is a God send tool that allows me to channel the muses in conjunction with the talented imaginary musicians (of the preset programs). My Korg Triton coaxes the cosmic music of my imagination to come to life and come out to play.

Getting lost in all the emotions (uplifting and sad) I can go to my keyboard, release my hands, let my fingers begin their magical dance and slowly a song like Ladyheart begins to take shape. This particular song was inspired by the rhythm of lyrics written by my friend, Ivonne. But when I actually started working with the lyrics, they weren’t gelling with the music I composed. I think it’s because the words weren’t mine, they were coming from someone else’s voice.

Frustrated I needed a time out. I decided to take a break and return later with a fresh perspective. I unwinded a bit in front of the tv to catch up on a show I recorded, about the making of Dances with Wolves. At the same time, Braveheart was on another channel. I have such a deep connection to Braveheart, especially because my daughter is a descendent of the Wallace clan. However, since the bad press on Mel Gibson, I couldn’t watch it. It brought up similar pain from my own soured relationship issues.

When I returned to the keyboard to work on the music again, images of the Dances with Wolves documentary flashed by. These two epic films were now fresh in my mind. I wanted to create a musical piece that had an epic feel. Pulling from all my experiences in the creative process, I wanted to create music that the ballet dancer in me could move to, that the choir singer in me would enjoy performing, that also had energy and an upbeat rhythm I could work out to. I didn’t want to impress anyone, only to amuse myself. I wanted to create for the sake of having fun, not because I had to prove anything.

I am a huge fan of soundtracks. I love practically everything John Williams has created. (Why he didn’t score every Harry Potter film is an enigma to me). So I tuned in and began thinking of epic movies that touched me. Braveheart and Lady Hawk flashed in my mind … hmmm … that was it … Ladyheart … once I had a name, the lyrics just poured out to sync with the music I outlined and whala … Ladyheart was born.

Looking for ways to heal through the power of love, I found my way out of the darkness and fear, joined forces with the muses, and began to blend music with the images dancing in my imagination. From that brew, out of the ethers Ladyheart emerges as a joyous celebration to honor the sisterhood of women. This is a tribute to all the sisters that have touched my own Ladyheart and given me so much. Thank you ladies … this is for us, our own personal connection through the Eros Touch.

Ladyheart

Ladyheart – The Backstory (Part 1)

So I post all these blogs about the Eros Touch … healing through the power of love, yadda, yadda, yadda, and all of a sudden I post a poem … Lyrics to boot … where did that come from? I’ll tell ya’ … It came from the cosmos my friends. I am learning how to use the fertilizer that is dumped on me to plant and grow new seeds! Okay, let’s be candid, (and accountable) the fertilizer I allowed and ordered to be dumped on me.

I prayed for spiritual solutions to help me resolve some major issues. Cut to the chase, a few months ago, a new person came into my life in the form of a friend and sister, with a very heavy burden she was carrying; that of a broken heart. She sought me out because we had something in common; the broken heart was from the same man, my former spouse.

In getting to know her, and working together to process her heartache, it was awakening a sleeping dragon in me. I hadn’t fully recovered from my own heartache. When the spouse you spend over a decade building dreams, a life, a family, a business with, abandons you and his toddler, well, let’s just say it isn’t easy to understand. Some of the information revealed during our processing this pain together, confirmed he withholds child support payments months at a time, as another means of control and bullying. She didn’t realize his abuse to me is ongoing. Deep feelings of anger and rage were getting stirred … big time! Listening to the pain of this poor brokenhearted woman was silently plucking some intense “vibrations” on my heartstrings. What this gut wrenching process was revealing to me, were my own abandonment and lack of self worth issues that I, along with other countless women, including my own mother, sister, both my grandmother’s and my new friend’s mom had lived through as well — men deserting their families.

This is an epidemic!!! Men abandoning women and their children; their families; running off to build new families only to abandon and create the same heartache and pain to their new families. Some men are just not rowing with all oars! Again, I found myself in a similar predicament that I faced at the end of my marriage! I had two choices: Get mad and pick a fight; get even and seek revenge in a Count of Monte Cristo sort of way … Nah, that’s not me. I get too toxic and end up physically sick. I had a different choice to make. So I shut down outside contact, distanced myself from everyone and focused on using all this “crap” in an artistic way.

The death of my marriage had such a huge impact on me, I couldn’t even plunk a tune like Chopsticks on the piano for close to a decade. I collaborated and composed three albums with my ex that were used as soundscapes for our stage shows. These were our first children together. He had created other products on his own, but this was the first time I actually composed my own original music. When you compose and collaborate on music with a partner, it’s a different form of union and connection.

Then, I really got the socks knocked off me, when I realized he was using our music to bed women he had affairs with. That took betrayal to a whole new level. Especially because he conveniently conveyed he was the sole creator, erasing me out of the picture entirely! Ouch and Ewwww! Sleee-zeey! There was so much crap I was processing, filtering, absorbing, trying to understand … well, it just blew my mind out of orbit … where ever that was.

So, rather than staying in a place of devastation or going to a place of destruction I went to my keyboard and started to get lost in the sound of the instruments.

I’ll stop here for now … as this is getting long winded … even for me, and that’s saying alot! I will reveal my artistic background and the creative process of how I composed the music and lyrics for this beautiful gift I received, called Ladyheart.

In the meantime … here’s the YouTube link to the musical mindscape that is:

Ladyheart

Ladyheart

Ladyheart

by Mayr © 2012

Little girls, little girls, happy at play

Little pearls, little pearls, they obey

Innocent, lovable easily led astray

Sisters  now fully Grown

Journey through the unknown

Searching for where to start

Come and Heed the call of the Ladyheart

Ladyheart, Ladyheart, shattered dreams

Ladyheart, Ladyheart, silent screams

Giving your heart away fully to hungry wolves

(fighting fighting fighting biting biting biting)

We are strong and stand to fight

We will kick defend with might

We will be honored

We will be heard

Sisters together Band

Ladyheart, Ladyheart, with new dreams

Ladyheart, Ladyheart, no more screams

We will survive from the lust of the hungry wolves

 Come with me we’ll fix the issue

Throw away that soiled tissue

Join with me we’ll band together

As a group embrace the weather

As a force we’ll climb the ropes

Working hard we’ll learn to cope

Riding together

Each as a feather

All on the wings of Love

 Ladyheart, Ladyheart, build new dreams

Ladyheart, Ladyheart, sister regimes

Together we will learn how to dance with the wolves